


Hijack March Madness

by Darkanny



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Hijack March Madness, M/M, few prompts, late because im bored
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 02:49:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3879325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkanny/pseuds/Darkanny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 1: Free<br/>Day 2: Asexuality (mermaids)<br/>Day 3+4: Booty+Catastrophe<br/>Day 16: Moist</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Take this old things, why not

Jack groaned and kicked the tire of his car angrily. He couldn’t believe it! He’d make sure to send his car in for a review before leaving the city, precisely because he knew he would be crossing the desert for the good part of two days. But the goddamn engine had decided the sun had been too much and had overheated, and he conveniently had forgotten to pack water in case exactly  _that_  happened.

But he was lucky, all things considered. He’d stopped right outside a little town surrounding the highway¸ and if there was a thing he knew is that at least he could find somewhere to sleep, eat and fix his car.

He locked the doors and walked the rest of the way, feeling better when the light of a pole reached his face. There were few buildings around: a 24 hour diner, a garage—closed, of course, it was well past midnight–, a small and ratty grocery store and a cheap motel. He assumed the people who worked here probably lived very far away in the middle of nowhere.

There was no use in trying the garage at this hour, but he was tired and hadn’t had lunch in his haste to get out of the damn desert before night fell, so he made his way to the restaurant. The huge sign above the door read “OPEN” and “FRESH COFFEE 24/7”, and that was enough to attract Jack inside like one of the moths flying around the electrical lamp just outside the window.

The bell chimed and the smell of coffee, fries and warm bread hit his face and made his stomach rumble. There were few people inside; a couple of truck drivers having their mugs refilled by a blonde waitress, a tired woman in her forties completing a crossword in a newspaper, and a young man with a laptop sitting in the farthest booth with a high pile of pancakes next to him.

He could see the cook in the kitchen; a big blonde man singing along some opera on the radio as he flipped burgers. He looked nice, and the place had a good atmosphere to it. The walls were decorated with family pictures, traffic signs and fishing trophies—although who knew how far the nearest lake or river was–. Jack sighed contently and dropped into the closest seat at the bar, picking up a menu lying nearby.

“Hello" A voice behind the menu said. “Can I get you something?”

Jack stopped reading about the Super Bacon Burger Special and lowered the card, and physically felt the blood rushing to his hears at the cute boy smiling at him.

“Uh” Brilliant. Oscar-worthy use of vocabulary right there, Jack. “I-I’ve been driving for a while…coffee?” He winced internally. Gosh, how pathetic. Can’t even think straight in front of a pretty face.

The boy nodded and jotted it down on his pad. “Something to eat? The sandwiches are half-price after midnight”

Jack nodded, pointing at some random name in the list of dishes. The boy nodded again and walked off to yell the order at the cook over the loud music. Jack leaned a bit forward, following the boy with his eyes. He was really young, where did he live in the middle of this desert?

“Is your seat uncomfortable, sir?”

Jack almost fell back when the blonde girl he’d seen before talked to him from behind. She was staring at him, arms crossed over her chest and a really smug expression that had no business there.

“If you don’t like it may I suggest a booth?”

Jack realized she was talking about how he was still hovering over his stool from his short-lived spying of the waiter, and slowly sat back down. “N-No, I’m fine, don’t worry” God that was embarrassing.

“Alright sir” She glanced at the waiter and back to Jack, grinning a lopsided smile before leaving to get back into the kitchen.

Jack sighed, burying his face in his hands. It was amazing how easily he got embarrassed, and in front of complete strangers no less.

Something clinking in front of him brought him back to reality. The cute boy was setting down a cup and filling it with the strongest coffee Jack had ever had the pleasure of smelling.

“You’re not from around here” It wasn’t a question, Jack could tell. The boy most likely knew everyone in 10 miles.

“Nope” Jack said. “Just passing through. I’m going home for vacation, but my car died on me so I’m stuck” He saw the look he was getting and hurried to add: “N-not that this place isn’t nice! Lovely town, very…peaceful”

The waiter chuckled and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bar. “I’m not from here either, it’s just a summer job. I’m from Berk”

Jack perked up. “Really? That’s like 10 minutes from Burguess”

“Oh! I go there in the winter, never seen more snow in one place, I swear”

“I knooooow”

“HICCUP!” A loud yell interrupted them, the blond cook pummeling a bell on the window that connected with the kitchen.

The boy—Hiccup, Jack thought, cute—sighed and did the most perfect eye-roll Jack had seen in his life, and went to fetch what looked like what Jack had ordered half-consciously.

“Here you go”  _Hiccup_  said, setting the plate down. I’ll let you eat now”

“No!” Jack said—shouted—as he turned to leave. Hiccup blinked at him, surprised by the outburst. “I-I mean, there’s no one else here right now, right? I could use some company for a while…?”

Jack was very surprised and  _very_  satisfied with himself when Hiccup blushed and stuttered, trying to make up a poor excuse, his voice slowly lowering until he just shut up and nodded, looking at the floor.

It was a luck that it was so late and nobody else entered the place, because they spent a good part of the night talking. And there was the bonus of Jack not having to rent a room to spend the night after all.


	2. Asexuality (mermaids)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really liked how this one turned out, like, really

Jackson Overland was in love with a mermaid.

Well, a merboy, more like.

It was daily gossip in the little town, fishermen and vendors looking worriedly at the young boy perched on the rocks by the sea. Merfolk were a common occurrence in Burguess; they were there before the first colonizers arrived to found their town, and thus people had learned to live with them.

Kids where taught not to approach the sea after dawn; it was when the creatures would emerge to the surface, searching for any leftover fish that hadn’t been caught in the nets. They were beautiful creatures, with soft human faces and shiny eyes that sparkled like the stars reflecting on the water, but their maws where filled with fangs sharp as needles, and their bodies held a strength greater than that of a bull. Sometimes their shimmering tails could be seen splashing around in the early morning, right as they left for deeper waters.

Jackson had always been a mischievous kid, disobeying orders and giving adults a hard time, so no one was surprised when he escaped from his room one night, disappearing for hours until a woman had found him in the beach as the sun rose, staring at the ocean with dazed eyes and heavy limbs. His clothes were drenched through and through. Red scars marred his skin.

Claw marks.

Jack didn’t say a word until three days afterwards, when he awoke his mother for breakfast. He was taken to the priest, who tried to coax from him the events of that night. Jackson could only talk about angels without wings and green stars.

He was back at the same spot he had been found every day after that. All day he would spend in the beach, sitting on the sand or climbing the rocks to get a better view. Everyday someone would pull him away and take him home, where his mother locked his door with three turns of the key and placed firm bars on his window.

Sometimes when work was particularly tenuous, she would go to bed and forget to lock his door. Jack would eventually make his escape for the beach.

The first time was when he was 12. His clothes were too light and he felt cold in the night air, but then  _he_  arrived.

The water rippled near the shore, and a head appeared up to the nose. Feral green eyes stared at him, glinting with hunger as he gazed at the boy. His brown hair, darkened by the water, stuck to his forehead like a limp seaweed. Jack waved at him, a big smile growing on his face. The creature raised his tail and splashed water around himself.

Both had gradually gotten closer to each other, and when Jack took his first couple of steps into the frigid water, quick hands grabbed his shirt in a firm grip and pulled. Jack tried pulling back, but the merman was too strong. The water reached his ears when a strong light fell on them. The siren hissed and released the human, slithering back into the depths. If it weren’t for the man grabbing his arm and pulling him back to the sand, Jack would’ve followed him.

The second time he was 15. His feet were bare.

The merboy emerged once more, the upper half of his torso breaking the water as he rose. His hair woven with starfish and seaweed. He growled at Jack and swiped at him with his long, sharp claws. The same shape in faint white lined on Jack’s arms and legs.

Jack hurried into the water, not wanting to wait for his siren to get closer. The merboy grinned a sharp, macabre smile at him and opened his arms wide, swimming deeper and deeper into open sea. Jack followed him, enchanted with the freckles covering his skin and the shine in those endless green eyes.

He was saved by the night watch guard, already prepared for such a thing and ready with a length of rope to tie Jackson with. The boy squirmed and whined, trying to break free and follow his obsession, but to no avail. The siren yelled at the man, enraged as he tried to pull his prey underwater. A knife aimed for his face and he managed to get away but not before it cut into his chin, dark blood dripping into the water. He yowled in frustration rather than pain and took off.

The third time he’s 17. His sister is asleep on his bed after going to him for comfort after a nightmare. He’s knees deep in the water.

His merboy—merman, is in front of him, lying on top of a rock, body completely out of the water. His long, thin tail shines green and blue and purple in the light of the full moon. It’s made for speed more than endurance, he can tell. His auburn hair brushes his shoulders, dry from the long time he’s been waiting, and his eyes are painted with green and brown, making them stand out. The sun is near and he will leave, but Jackson took his time avoiding the guards, and now is late.

Neither moves, the water quiet and still as they stare down at each other; the human at his unattainable love, the monster at his elusive victim. Jackson knows that he only wants to see him drown, drag him where the currents will tear his limbs apart for him to pick and feast on. And yet.

The sun is rising, and a woman watches with grief as a familiar torn up cloak washes up on the shore.


	3. Booty+Catastrophe

“How could this happen?! I just—I don’t understand!”

Jack could barely contain his giggles behind his mouth. It was just so great to see Hiccup losing his cool like that, and all thanks to his own precious buddy, who was now contently licking his claws on top of the bed.

Somehow little Toothless had decided that Hiccup’s underwear was his new enemy, but nobody really could explain  _why._ And it wasn’t just one or two pieces he’d found lying around, no. It was the entire freaking drawer; somehow he’d gotten inside and tore every single boxer Hiccup owned. Every. Single. One.

“Why would you do that?!” Hiccup asked the cat, more of a whine than a reprimand. Toothless looked at him with his big eyes and rolled over, showing his soft tummy and purring loudly, very proud of himself.

“Maybe he thinks you should get some new ones?” Jack said, a huge grin on his face. It wasn’t that he approved of his boyfriend’s cat causing mayhem, it was just that  _he_  was usually the butt of his attacks, so the change felt nice. Also he had to appreciate a good prank when he saw one, and this definitely qualified as one.

“Some of those were like from two weeks ago!” Hiccup sighed, brushing a hand through his hair. “And I just finished my shift, I’m covered in grease and I _really_ need to change”

“Hmm” Jack joined the cat on the bed, copying his position belly-up. “I could lend you some”

“Jack, you know it wouldn’t…uh…fit?”

“Are we talking about your huge ass or your huge d—“

“Okay! Okay, I’ll try some, come on, get moving” Hiccup said flustered. Casual talk just didn’t feel right mixed with his…assets, and Jack knew that. Of course he did.

Grinning again, Jack rolled off the bed towards his own wardrobe.

 

* * *

 

“I still think this is a bad idea”

“Come on babe, it’s only for tonight. Tomorrow we can go get more”

“It’s pretty tight”

“Oh, I know” Jack nodded, eyes fixated on Hiccup’s backside. “I  _know_ ”

Hiccup shifted, trying to get comfortable in the way-too-tight underwear Jack had lent him. It rode up in the back and in the front it was a bit too…yeah. It was _tight._

Hiccup sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “Let’s just go to bed, I can’t be on my feet for too long in these”

Jack stayed behind a bit longer, just taking in the sight of Hiccup walking away in  _his_  underwear. I hate seeing you leave but I love watching you go, indeed.

He silently took Toothless’ paw and fist-bumped him. For a job well done.


	4. Moist

“Jack, it’s too much”

“I know what I’m doing Hic, just let mespread this—”

“I really don’t think that’s—ouch! Be careful!”

“Sorry, it’s a bit tight in here”

“Maybe if you hadn’t put in so much at once we wouldn’t be having this problem!”

Astrid couldn’t believe her ears. Jack and Hiccup had locked themselves in the kitchen a good while ago and she had come down from her room to fetch a water bottle when the noise from the other side of the door made her stop and stick her ear to it. What in the hell were those two doing there?!

“It’s too dry, I’m gonna put on a bit more”

“It’s gonna spill all over the place, I’m telling you, it’s  _fine_ ”

“But Hiccup!” Jack whined, and something clattered inside. “Great. Could you hand me that back?”

“Why don’t  _you_  do it?”

“I’m a bit stuck here, just reach out and pick it up, pleeeease”

She heard Hiccup sigh. “Alright, just let me…god, why did you even bring this here?”

“Just in case it turned out boring. See? You can put it…here”

Hiccup groaned and Astrid jumped, a hand covering her mouth and a blush bleeding into her face. Really those two, in the kitchen of all places?!

“I don’t think it fits. Just put it away for now”

“Party pooper” Jack chuckled. “Alright, I think that’s it. Nice and moist”

“Ugh, don’t say that word. It’s weird”

“Mmmmmoooist”

“Oh my god, fuck you”

“In a minute, honeybuns”

Astrid had had enough. She pushed the door open and stomped in, ready to stop whatever nastiness was going on inside. Instead, she found the boys huddled close to each other, cramped in the small space left between the kitchen island and the opposite counter. They were covered in flour and water and there was a round cake in front of them, with a small bunny-shaped cookie cutter next to it.

She blinked at them and scratched her neck. “What are you guys doing?”

“A cake” Jack said.

“It turned out too big so the dough got dry. Jack has been trying to drown it in coffee to get it wet”

“Moist”

Hiccup slapped him upside the head.

“Oh” Astrid felt so dumb now. What filthy stuff had been through her head was not even close to the real situation. “I’ll just…pick my stuff and leave, yeah” She marched to the fridge, took out a bottle and bolted from the kitchen.

The boys watched her go, confused as to why she looked so in a hurry to get away from them. Hiccup shrugged and went to put the cake in the fridge.

“You think she’s on the red tide or something?” Jack asked as he cleaned the mess in the counter.

Hiccup groaned. “I really don’t want to think about that regarding my best friend, thank you”

Jack hummed. “Wanna bang?”

“Sure”


	5. Bonus: Hiccup's birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in March I realized that i forgot to do a prompt about Hiccup's birthday so here's a bonus

Hiccup’s birthday was a big deal and at the same time it wasn’t. Being the future chief and the hero of Berk made the day very important and practically a holiday, but at the same time some people–namely Snotlout–didn’t think it was worth the effort to celebrate a day that only came every four years.

This was one of those years, and Hiccup really didn’t think he should worry about his birthday; he was just turning 17, nothing truly important. In Berk, you were considered an adult the moment you proved to could provide for yourself, and Hiccup had done that after his first dagger was succesfully sold, at mere 7 years old. Gobber had been proud as could be, but also worried that it would put too much pressure on the boy ahead of time.

Turned out Hiccup could handle it, and weapon-making turned into a mere hobby for him. So as it was usual for any normal day of the year, he made his way to the forge to start a new day of work, Toothless hot on his heel.

He expected to find many things there: Gobber at the door ready to shoo him away on his imposed ‘free day’; Astrid with her axe blocking the door to drag him to the arena to some party everyone but Fishlegs were forced to attend, or Hel, even his dad waiting to take him fishing or something.

What he got, instead, was Jack casually leaning against the wall, checking his nails.

“Uh, Jack? Hi?” Hiccup said, stopping next to him, making a move for the door.

Jack’s hand lashed out and grabbed his wrist faster than his eyes could follow. “Ah-ah, not today mister. You’re coming with me”

Hiccup tried to protest but Toothless, his  _own dragon,_ seemed to agree for once with the shepherd, and wasn’t that something. The dragon walked behind them, pushing Hiccup forward with his snout whenever he stopped. They walked uphill, out of the village and past Jack’s farm. The sheep had gathered at the railing, bleating at Jack as he walked by and then running away when Toothless appeared behind them.

“Where are we even going? I have work to do and I’m pretty sure you do too”

“I asked the twins to take over today”

“The–the twins?! Are you out of your mind?” Hiccup said, eyes comically wide and step faltering for a moment. Jack laughed as he regained his footing.

“Don’t worry, they’re way more competent than they look. I estimate they will just burn a small part of the barn today. I asked them explicitly to make as few damage as possible”

“Well, aren’t you an optimistic”

Hiccup had long since given up on being dragged around by the bigger boy–tall and thin as a rod, and yet  _still_  bigger than him–and had changed the hold on his wrist for the most comfortable hold of his hand; it was also easier to manouver around that way, and why not say it, it felt rather nice too.

Jack stopped in front of a tree and held a hand to Hiccup to get him to wait, then started climbing the tree with all the ease of someone with limbs as long as a Zippleback’s necks. Hiccup took the chance to sit down on Toothless’ saddle for a moment. The leg didn’t appreciate long treks in uneven grounds.

Jack jumped down from the tree, almost giving Hiccup a heart attack. “Got it!”

“What, my death in your hands? Because you will if you do that again, sweet Thor” Hiccup said, holding his heart in the old dramatic fashion so typical of him.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a drama queen, the romans are enough of that for everyone” He pressed a bundle of sheep hide into his arms. “Here”

Hiccup blinked at it and took it slowly, weighting it and noticing something sticking out of the corner. He unwrapped it carefully, ignoring Jack rolling his eyes at his cautiousness–like it wasn’t the first time something jumped on his face after Jack handed him something–and found a neatly folded piece of fabric laying harmlessly inside.

He lowered the package to the floor and picked up the fabric, unfolding it to reveal a hastily made wool cloak, poorly died green with vegetable dye and smelling a bit like it caught humidity somewhere.

Hiccup looked up at Jack as he hugged the garment close to his chest, and saw the brunet shuffle and look away, his ears turning red. “Did you make this?”

Jack twirled the staff in his hands. “Uh, yeah. Last time you were visiting you left early because it turns colder at my place than in the village, so I thought…”

“You made me a cloak so I can stay longer with you?” A smile was pulling at the corner of Hiccup’s mouth, his hand brushing along the cushy material of the gift. It just needed a bit of airing, Toothless could help with that.

“It’s more of a selfish gift, really” Jack mumbled, still not looking him in the eye, kicking a pebble away. “And I know it wasn’t your birthday this year but I asked everyone to give me the day with you so…happy birthday, I guess”

He startled when he heard Hiccup sniffle, and knelt down in front of him to see what was wrong. “I-I’m sorry, I lost track of time with shearing and couldn’t do something better with what little time I had left, I-”

“Oh, shut up” Hiccup laughed, rubbing his eyes and hiccuping. “You’re such a dork. I can’t believe you” He hugged the cloak even tighter and tried to cover his grin with it to no avail.

“So…you’re not upset?”

“Of course I’m not!” Hiccup said. “You made me something from scratch, for a day that doesn’t even exist, as a way to get me to spend more time with you?” He laughed again, burying his face in the wool. “That’s so cute”

Jack stuttered and fell back on his bottom, sitting on the ground as red filled his face. Toothless cooed at him now that they were at eye level. “I’m not cute! I’m the biggest, machoest viking in this island!”

“That’s not even a word” Hiccup slid from the saddle to sit on the ground, on his knees in front of Jack. The shepherd pouted at him from under his bangs. Hiccup chuckled and leaned forward to wrap his arms around him in a tight hug. “Thank you. I love it”

Jack squirmed and giggled, trying to get and arm free to return the hug but to no avail. “Can I, uh, give you another thing? It’s even more selfish but…”

Hiccup released him and sat straight, still smiling and looking at him expectantly, hands on his lap and making the perfect picture of the well-behaved kid he wasn’t. Jack put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him forward, meeting him halfway.

This wasn’t thier first kiss, but it seemed like it, just as clumsy and giggly as it had been. Jack’s hand slid down to his waist as Hiccup’s hands came to rest on his neck and shoulder to pull him closer. Toothless pulled his ear-flaps over his eyes and grumbled in embarrasment.

When they got back to the village at dusk, Hiccup was proudly wearing the most deformed, ugly and unbearably comfortable cloak anyone had ever seen; and looked happier than he’d been in years.


End file.
